This November hit me harder than the last two, but (if I am being honest with myself) the fall to winter shift always triggers some level of sadness and anxiety within me.

I experience similar feelings of let-down, uneaseyness, and depression after completing a big adventure like a thru-hike. Returning home to find my groove again after walking a few hundred miles is never easy.

Given how particularly challenging this winter transition has been for me emotionally, I have been brainstorming ways to find and hold onto feelings of happiness during times when life feels the darkest.

Being that December 21st is the winter solstice—the darkest, shortest day of the year—it feels fitting to discuss the best ways to find a bit of light.  

10 ways to beat post-trail depression and the winter blues:

1.    Find (and keep) a therapist

• My therapist went on leave in the spring of this year; I was doing well at the time, so I didn’t pursue finding a replacement during her absence. But as someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, it is invaluable to maintain a relationship with a councilor year round.

• The tricky thing about depression is once you are in it, it is really hard to reach out to people or pursue getting help, it’s better to have a relationship with a therapist established in advance of an episode.

2.    Verbalize your feelings to your loved ones

• The people in our lives—even the ones who know us deeply and love us the most—are not mind readers. If we want their support & awareness, we have to communicate our thoughts and emotions effectively.

• Often, just speaking about a disturbing feeling you are having, can really help change the narrative in your head and bring a sense of lightness into your life.

• A great tool for expressing hurt or fear comes from Dr. Brené Brown: “The story I am telling myself is…” Frequently I believe things the be much worse than they actually are, I feel isolated but in reality I am not, I think someone is angry with me, but they are just having a bad week and I’ve misread the situation.

• Another important step in communicating how you are feeling is figuring out what support looks like for you, because when someone cares about you, they are going to want to know how they can help.

3.    Break the cycle

• There is the advice on TikTok: “If you hate everyone, go eat something; if you think everyone hates you, get some sleep; if you hate yourself, take a shower; if you think everyone hates each other, go outside”

• Sometimes, the only way to save yourself from spiraling, is to break the cycle; if you are deep in negativity or hopelessness, if pays to shock your system.

• For me, that means getting myself outside and going for a walk, run or ski, drinking hot tea, writing in my journal, or screaming—yes, even that last one. I also find visiting the hot springs and alternating the lobster pot and cold plunge really helps to put me in a calmer state, especially in the hours afterwards. A friend told me recently that she stands in cold snow when she feels overwhelmed.

4.    Make a list of activities you enjoy doing

• You can skim this list on a day that just isn’t your day, and pick something you think will enjoy in that moment

• Here is my personal list of winter friendly activities: going to the hot springs, reading a book that’s really captured my interest, writing in my journal, crafting, meeting up with a friend for a coffee, going for a walk (or ski) on my favorite trail, learning a new sport or craft, working on a long-term project, cleaning the house while listening to a podcast, sitting outside in the sunshine, doing yoga, going to my local book club, planning a trip, calling a family member or friend who doesn’t live close to me.

• It’s important to include a few easy activities that you enjoy even if you are low energy or feeling depressed, because that is what this list is for!

5.    Stop comparing. Ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment?”

• When I am spiraling, I feed my worry by racking up all the ways that I fall short. But when I start comparing myself to others, I am not asking myself what I want out of life, I am just fixating on all the ways my life isn’t matching up to someone else’s.

• Someone somewhere told my mom, “We waste a lot of time comparing our insides to other people’s outsides” (and then my mom told me). Comparing yourself to other people is a losing game and the only way to win it is to walk off the court and get clear on who you are and what you need to be happy.

6.    Get cozy

• In Crested Butte, winter seems to last an unknowable length of time. Similarly, when I am depressed or anxious, I never know how long those feelings will last.

• Uncertainty in dark times is a given, so get cozy. Figure out the little things that bring you joy even when you at your lowest—this could literally be re-watching seasons of The Great British Baking Show for the 3rd or 4th time (GBBS has gotten me through some seriously dark times).

• Pro tip: 99% of the time, the answer to uncertainty is not running away.

7.    Remember your “why”

• Why do we do any of the things we do? What is the driving force behind who each of us is?

• My personal “why” revolves around adventure and discovery—an umbrella category for all the things that really light my soul on fire.

• Getting clear on your “why” will help you look at your lows with more objectivity. We are not machines; we need to rest, we need to heal, we need to feel loved and supported. Sometimes, we just need a break. We cannot seize the day on an empty tank, and depression is a very empty tank. So, if you want to get back to pursuing your passions, you need to prioritize your mental well-being first.

8.    Give yourself a pass

• Sometimes, we just need to hydrate and Netflix. And not beat ourselves up about it.

9.    Treat yourself like a friend

• You wouldn’t tell your friend they are lazy and boring, that they are falling short of awesome, or that they look like the grim reaper (you might gently encourage them to take a shower, though, if this is the case)

• No, you’d tell them to be gentle with themselves, you’d remind them that they are loved, and that everyone struggles sometimes, you might even encourage them to do an activity purely for the fun of it, and not because they feel like they have to just to fit in (cough-cough)

10. Give yourself a pep-talk

• In this moment, you are safe.

• You are loved.

• If you don’t like the weather (or your mood), wait five minutes.

• Human being, not human doing.

• A 40-hour work week is the arbitrary invention of a sadist.

• You don’t need to be the best at everything, in fact, it is 100% okay to be incompetent at most things.

• Running away will not solve your problems, it will distract you from them until you are alone in a tent, in the middle of nowhere, and your problems collectively crush you like an elephant sitting on your chest.

• You do have a say in what happens to you.

• “I am grateful for… [ choose three things]”

• “I love… [choose three people]”

• “I enjoy… [choose three activities]”

• And remember, NO ONE likes having their nose hairs freeze the minute they walk out their front door, it’s not just you.

Need support NOW?

Reach out to:

Project Hope of the Gunnison Valley: https://www.hope4gv.org/get-help

CB State of mind: https://cbstateofmind.org

The National Suicide Hotline: https://988lifeline.org

 On that note, I wish you the happiest of Winter Solstices! Go make yourself a hot cocoa with whipped cream and cut yourself some slack.